1. |
April 19th
06:14
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sometimes I’m afraid of forgetting you
but then I realize it can’t be true
my feelings just turn around often
because you can never be forgotten
I just have to take a look in the mirror
and I see your eyes and your nose
if I look down I see your toes
I hear your voice when I talk with my brother
I feel your spirit living in my mother
you are there although you’re not
but these are the things we’ve got
on this particular day
my thoughts are all around you
still I want to find a good way
to enjoy my life and not be blue
we shall celebrate that you were here with us once
I know that your absence will always suck
we had the honor to get to know you for real
and this will always affect how we feel
I just have to take a look in the mirror
and I see your eyes and your nose
if I look down I see your toes
I hear your voice when I talk with my brother
I feel your spirit living in my mother
you are there although you’re not
but these are the things we’ve got
I still watch you laughing, even though it’s just a photograph I see
sometimes you still feel so alive to me
but there are so many moments you have missed
and I wish you could have experienced them with us
I miss you every day
and there is no way
this huge hole in my heart could be filled
my emotions recede in the distance
by the pain
it’s always the same
and every night I hope that you revive in my dreams
sometimes it seems
that I only need to wake up from dreaming
and again I would see you living, (breathing)
laughing and caring
‘cause that’s what you were doing, sharing
you lived the life of all of us
except yourselves’
always wanted everybody else
to be safe and blessed
I just have to take a look in the mirror
and I see your eyes and your nose
if I look down I see your toes
I hear your voice when I talk with my brother
I feel your spirit living in my mother
you are there although you’re not
but these are the things we’ve got
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2. |
Only In My Head
06:10
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one more cigarette
to make my feelings real
blame myself with regret
impossible to heal
good or bad, I wanna feel alive
but instead, I'm empty inside
smokin’ in the living room
laughing about fights
trying anything
but no emotion in my eyes
I feel my fingers touch my thighs
hopelessly, as if I’m hypnotized
smoke in my lungs
or ash and blood on my arms
amorous satisfaction
painful beats in caption
with the right music in my ears
maybe I can bring up some tears
nothing is real, it's just an illusion
trying anything to create feelings
only one way impossible to arrive
at least not without the end of life
the brain
the brain
the brain
the brain — it's only in my head
my head
my head
my head
my head
if you want answers, ask my dad
the key is laughing with sad tears
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3. |
Losing Myself
04:48
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scientists say that psychological pain
matches physical pain in the brain
that explains why I feel a knife in my heart
seems as if again I'm losing a part
of myself
and you don’t even recognize
how often can my heart be broken
before I'm gonna die inside forever
|: trying so hard to be open
again, and again but never
finding myself succeed
Am I really such a creep? :|
I feel so damn exposed ...
I was so optimistic, even confident
this is an emotional parachute descent
now I am slowly realizing
I miss the times in 2013
being such a fool it hurts
I'm a coward and a bitch at once
why am I never enough?
seems like there's no luck in my life
immediately I hate the world again
lost my belief of everything
emptiness inside, I'm sick of me
being as lonely as I could be
I was trying really hard to finally let somebody receive my love
obviously, love isn't meant for me, I'll never be enough
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4. |
Revenge Of Broken Hearts
05:52
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got your shit together
one, two, three whoever
only names on that list
just no feelings, no risks
so many lonely souls
living in the night like owls
a huge effort for them
you don’t mind a week with ten
one spirit to stand out
suddenly your heart beats loud
you mind acts like a slave
transports you into that cave
at once, with all the forgotten parts
well, that’s the revenge of broken hearts
by the time
you played your game so fine
not shy no more
rather mistaken for a whore
retribution has come
too many times you’ve won
you thought it would matter
which one could be better?
one spirit, you know for sure
breaks the game, loving pure
your hearts act like slaves
so far emotions were brave
pitiless life mixes the cards
well, that’s the revenge of broken hearts
was everything just deception
maybe only true in fiction
or was it planned like that?
controlled like a rat
merely to break your soul
could one be more dependent?
overthinking how it ended
or will that game be played again
maybe with another man
could you flee determination
is it worth the patience?
take things under control
again, you’re the night owl
overcome emotional guards
waiting for the revenge of broken hearts
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5. |
Run
04:39
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tied to the office chair
just increasing life despair
sunlight makes me feel so guilty
nothing happens, just get filthy
all those videos so annoying
can't even get up for a song to sing
time flies when you masturbate all day long
counting every morning, now it's time to hold on
time is up, the day has come
I gotta stop waiting around
can't stand it anymore, I'm done
I wanna get really loud
I am sick of your games,
I'm sick of my shame
I just wanna get up and
RUN! RUN! RUN!
I've postponed to ask him out for years
I guess it's time to accept it now
this is for all my stupid fears
It's not gonna happen, save your “wow”
it’s really not worth the effort
all I get is to be ignored
I'm sick of being tired and lazy
no excuses It's time to get crazy
time is up, the day has come
I gotta stop waiting around
can't stand it anymore, I'm done
I wanna get really loud
I am sick of your games,
I'm sick of my shame
I just wanna get up and
RUN! RUN! RUN!
you wanna sell your rehearsal room for rent?
I'm sick of your advertisement
you want me to buy your CD, your book or your so-called rap
just leave me alone with that crap!
I'm so angry ‘cause nothing ever happens
I need to raise my voice and move my ass
feeling like stuck in a time warp
can't get away, ok, I finally give up
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6. |
Dirty Chatroom
04:25
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the fastest typewrite
after midnight
in front of the screen
no one is to be seen
hidden camera, covered with a tag
feeling excited but also bad
no limits, no tabus
I've got nothing to lose
maybe you're ugly, I don't care
I just need a fast love affair
fantasy has got no borders
especially anonymous
tell me what you want me to do
I won't disappoint you
busy fingers, it has to be on time
always desire for the next line
no limits, no tabus
I've got nothing to lose
maybe you're ugly, I don't care
I just need a fast love affair
don't be shy, tell me what you like
I'm sure it will be alright
let me burn for you babe
no need to hesitate
finally, your dirty words reload
and I will totally explode
come back honey
what do you want from me
here's what I found
I'm ready for a second round
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7. |
Coming Home
07:24
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tryin’ my best with confidence
living life as simple as it seems
don’t you feel my insecurities
always funny, it's a breeze
I wouldn’t dare to count my friends
always feel so unreal
do we hug or just shake hands
these thoughts may never appear
I do my job, I laugh and chat, I sing and joke
pretend to sense myself like fan
and when I get home I hate myself again
I feel desperately calm
cause it's a feeling so familiar to me
in the secret den of my home
I can be as lonely as I need to be
one minute proud of the improvements
the other ashamed of my self-display
wanna forget all embarrassing movements
and never ever appear to them again
I would laugh at my awkwardness and joke about it all day long
pretend to forget these situations immediately
but forgetting my shame that's not a thing I can
and I would come home and hate myself again
you can't even imagine how much it means to me
when you ask me to hang out on Sunday afternoon
you don't even know how overwhelmed I can be
when I receive a message or a smile or even a friendly welcome
I really can't believe that all of you may care about me
when I get compliments, I hardly know what to do
you really can't imagine how much it means to me
when you get me to dance, and I admit to have fun
but I still feel wrong
and so, I still feel alone
gotta hide from now on
never look at these photographs again
eliminate the thoughts that one could like me
never assume to be friends in real life
stay clinical, cursory, denying, big-headed
let little clangers hit me like a knife
but that is never to be known
I'll just keep doing this show
enforce sunshine through the rain
and when I get home, I hate myself again.
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Misty Moon Graz, Austria
Misty Moon is mercilessly vulnerable honesty. Unspeakable thoughts that can no longer be ignored in times of despair. The fragility of these realities that surround us all is reflected in a soulful voice accompanied by delicate acoustic guitar and in an instrumental minimalism. The singer-songwriter made her stage debut at open-mic nights in 2019 and is now releasing her first music. ... more
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